The mornings have turned autumnal and crisp. A chill in the air is brought by the steady breeze that blows yellowing leaves to the ground. On the walk to school the crows craw and echo in the canopy above as the trees drop acorn bombs on our heads and all the while Cristi is fascinated by his misted breath. This transports me back to when I stood on mornings like these by the post box, waiting for the number 17 bus to take me to my high school, pretending that my breath was smoke from a fantasy cigarette. By 11 am the sun has come out still trying to fool the flowers that summer hangs on. I realise I'm inappropriately dressed for changes in seasons within a day but I am gratreful for the warmth, for the sweat, for the remnants and memories of a hot summer filled with laughter and joy.
The other day as I stood on the street I heard mutterings from the man beside me. I asked if he had said something to me and he replied "the cold is coming". Yes, it is I thought, DRAT! I am not one who loves the heat of the summer sun that burns here but I hate that already I feel cold and unwilling to rise from my bed these last few mornings.
However, I take joy in the fact that for the first time in my 5 years here I feel like I have a purpose and a schedule that is appreciated and workable. That sounds terrible I know but, in previous years I have found it a little hard to collaborate successfully with the teachers (at the school I work in) and to find real purpose and joy in the work I do with the kids. So, these last few weeks have been hard but I am at a point where I look at the school days and think yes I know where I am at and what I am doing and I have peace and encouragement in that. I also have a new colleague. A new volunteer who arrived last week and makes working at the school a bit more fun and inspiring. I wish I could say the same for Cristi's school but it carries on dampening his learning spirit and frustrating mine. But, we soldier on.
I have been a little ill this week. The cold is whirling it's way through us all and knocking us flying like bowling pins but I stayed out of my bed and seemed to scare it away before it took a complete strike on me. Unfortunately though it has meant that I haven't been able to visit the babies this week which makes me sad. Last week, although they had found homes for 3 the previous week, we had two new arrivals both under 2 months old. I know i keep saying it but it hurts inside. It hurts my heart and my soul that so many precious lives are starting with a long stay in an understaffed hospital crib. I talked with the lady who is supposed to feed them and she (a very kind-hearted lady) became upset that she has no time to spare on interactions with them. She told me that between cleaning that building and helping the doctors to give out injections and medications she barely has time to change the babies after their feed let alone play, talk, sing or rock them. I just feel so sad that at such a vital developmental time these small lives, our next generation are under developing to the sound of trashy Hungarian pop-rock and a view of a white painted ceiling peppered with mosquitoes.
What more should I tell you of my week here. It is the same as always. Frustration, saddness, joy, laughter, tears, pity, anger, tiredness, hope and missing my family. A gauntlet of emotions which we all face. Some weeks stronger, some harder than others. This week is good. Last week was not! Two of my friends, long standing volunteers left last week, reminding me how much I miss having family close, how hard it is when your best friend moves away, how hard it is to stay in contact with those who keep you grounded, happy and sane. But, this week is good so I am happy for that.
I have Laz staying with us for a week while Court is visiting her Swedish family. An extra ray of sunshine in my home for a week. Sure a little extra challenge but I love having him to stay. So, I must, I suppose stop writing and take myself to bed. If not then I will find tomorrow a challenge and in a life filled with so many it is best not to add to the pile. Good night dear friends I hope that you sleep soundly this night and know that someone out there misses you and loves you.