8 Martie

Today was 8 Martie, Woman's day and therefore Mothers Day. Court and I were remembering today how hard it was only 2 years ago when the orphanage was still open and we attended Mother's Day programs where our little orphans sang out with gusto "today is your day mummy" "I love you my beautiful mummy". It was HEARTBREAKING! So, I am glad that we moved on and that nearly all our children have been placed in loving families, meaning that our orphanage has been closed for well over a year and that the majority of those little faces who impacted so heavily on my life now have a mummy to sing out to on this day.

However, my heart still breaks for little Alex still waiting for that family that he will fit like a piece of a jigsaw into. A child who at 6 years old prays at night for God to find him a mummy. A child still singing to a mummy who has not yet appeared. I hope (even though I am not Christian) that our bundle of joy, this beautiful boy will have his prayers answered. He deserves that, as do all children. I feel I could talk and talk about how unjust it is here. How unfair it is anywhere in the world where many children find themselves watching in bewilderment and sadness as others celebrate a thing that should never have been taken from them, their mother's. It is unfair and I won't do it justice so instead I want to say what in mine and my boy's mind makes a mother?

Cristi and I have this discussion often.  We had to discuss this again today when he told me what some children at school had said to him today. "Your mummy isn't your real mummy she didn't give birth to you you were born in the orphanage. The orphanage is your mummy!" So, sure he was upset but after we laughed about the fact that a building can't give birth and that in fact the children were maybe just curious and were actually somewhat right we discussed what makes a mummy a 'real mummy'. We settled on this......... a mummy is someone who loves their baby more than anyone else in the whole world. Someone who is there for their baby and takes care of them. That kisses their ouchies and tells them stories and plays and laughs and sings with them.

I looked at my boy and I said "you know what Kiki it is true I didn't give birth to you but I chose you so you are extra special and even more loved". I hate that our kids face such adversity however, I am glad for whatever reason that my life led me here to my little one, if only for the fact that he got to hear today just how wanted and special he really is. I'm glad the days of putting him to bed at the orphanage are over. The many nights I tried and failed to sneak out from his bed when he was asleep only to be grabbed like a cartoon dog and bone. Tonight, my boy fell asleep with a big smile on his face, knowing that he has a mummy who loves him more than anything else in this world. I just wish I knew that Alex had that too.